He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
