idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
