You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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