just tell him i said nine months
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
