Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
