I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
