You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
