i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
