A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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