You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize