Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
