I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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