his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My liver just had a heart attack.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
