If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
