I'm gonna have a badass scar
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
