shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
