Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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