If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
