even my farts smell like vagina
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
