Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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