There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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