just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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