quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The Olympian is in my bed
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