I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize