Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
