What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
