Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
