Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
