drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize