I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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