He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
