just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
