I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
