i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
