Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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