At least make sure they are 18
Why
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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