i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
