Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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