im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
