he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
