My hand turned me down
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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