Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
