Small penises have feelings too.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
