Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
