And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
