biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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