I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
