you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
