Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and she was petting her beer can
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
