I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
