the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This toilet bowl is my home.
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