It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
