would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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