I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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