Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
