On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
