You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
