Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
