I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
this is an emotional support booty call
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
